A Dysfucntional Whatever-You-Call-A Relationship

At some point in EVERY girls life we ALL end up in a dysfunctional whatever you call a relationship, which involves:

a) Drunk dialing

b) Hordes of instant messages and/or text messages (like stalker style)

c) Everclear and toilet hugging with intervals of sobbing and verses from Bush’s “Letting the Cables Sleep,”… okay, maybe that’s just me but it was a long time ago I SWEAR

d) Other

e) All of the above
Which lead us to saying some shit (when we’re drunk might I add), that we don’t mean- or if we do we just didn’t mean to say it.
If you’re one of the many who know what I’m saying, don’t sweat it; doing certain stupid shit comes with the territory of being human.
My suggestion is to put down the beer and stop taking advice from:

1. Ugly People

2. Those who have recently been dumped (or yourself who has recently been dumped)

3. Your horoscope- even if this time it is “So accurate it’s weird.”

To Every Girl

 

I cannot stand so-called female-empowering-make-you-feel-better-about-yourself-letters. They really bother me. The following is a revision of one of the aforementioned (my words are obviously the ones written in bold font).

 

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again, because she has been HURT too many times or so badly.

 

Get over it.

 

To every girl that has been cheated on, because she’s not a slut who gives it up to any guy.

 

At least the slut didn’t cheat on you.

 

To every girl that dresses cute, not skanky.

 

Quit talking shit about girls who dress skanky.

 

To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.

 

See your guidance counselor.

 

To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.

 

Do not buy him a video game, unless you want to spend the whole day watching him play it

To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.

 

This is why you do not have a decent boyfriend.

 

To every girl who would just once like to be treated like a princess.

 

Chill out with the Disney movies.

 

To every girl that just wants to hold hands.

 

He just wants you to hold his dick.

 

To every girl that kisses him with meaning.

 

This means nothing to him unless the kiss is below the belt.

 

To every girl who just wishes he cared more.

 

Dress like a skank.

 

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.

 

Make him think that you want to have sex with him.

 

To every girl who just wants him to call.

 

Calling him over and over will not speed up the process.

 

To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.

 

You should probably keep that to yourself.

 

To every girl that just wants to cuddle.

 

Guys try to sleep with you by saying they just want to cuddle.

 

To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

 

Try sleeping with him without having sex.

 

To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.

 

Have you ever heard that Offspring song called Self-Esteem?

 

To every girl that thought “maybe this one could be The One.”

 

Good news: it’s possible; Bad news: Only because the last guy wasn’t

 

To every girl that doesn’t want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.

 

[See To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.]

 

To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.

 

That’s what you’re supposed to do.

 

To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.

 

Your friends will always be there to tell you “I told you so.”

 

To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.

 

You’ve probably had alot of things shoved in your face.

 

To every girl that has faith that “tomorrow will be a better day.”

And it will be.

 

Don’t be naïve.

 

To the girl who wrote the original version this so-called female-empowering-make-you-feel-better-about-yourself-letter

 

I feel sorry for you.

Jealousy & the Jeans

 

So you have these jeans, they’re your favorite jeans, your lucky jeans, you spent half your paycheck on these jeans (worth every penny), but a couple of years pass by and suddenly you don’t look so hot in these jeans. You tell yourself that one day they’ll look good on you again, and throw them in your closet (with the rest of your skeletons).

One day your friend comes over and has nothing to wear. You tell her she can look through your stuff and sure enough, she comes out of your closet and asks

Can I borrow your jeans?

You tell her ‘Yeah, sure, I don’t even wear them anymore.’ So she tries them on and you immediately recognize that they do more for her body than they ever did for yours… and what’s worse is when ya’ll go out, all your friends comment on how great she looks in the jeans, ask where she got them- they’re a perfect fit.

So, it’s the end of the night and ya’ll are back at your place and she pops the question:

Can I have your jeans?

Without a second thought you politely tell her no, thinking ‘Hell no, I spent half my paycheck on those jeans!’ and she mumbles under her breath

You don’t even wear them anymore.

Noisy Sound

Noise, racket is all

I hear racket, noisy sound

I speak

Not words, but noisy sound

Eyes

 

Your lies, your mind, hit me in the heart

but

Your eyes, I find, made me fall apart

Summer ‘03

saw a boy and thought he cared thought i saw a future there

said you love me

please don’t go

ba-by

say it

isn’t so

why

should I

stay

Why

Should I

Care?

Why can’t

you see

it’s not fair? Enough’s enough.

Baby

forgive me

please believe

I know it’s hard, but

please don’t leave

I give you grief

sorrow, pain

sadness, shame

Things will get better, they won’t be the same

Oh, my God, for goodness sake

That’s a promise you can’t make.

It’s hard enough to see you live

with what you took, and how you did

What i want you cannot

Give

My 6^th sense smells your fragrance is tense

it lends a thought to sleeplessness or sleeping

around

but you had not the courtesy, nor the common-sense

you have nothing to say, but some weak defense:

ba-by I felt bad

right after

it happened

My regret is immense

won’t Give me back my Innocence.

Give it once

it’s good as gone

gone forever, life goes on

but you didn’t deserve it

you knew it was wrong

and [— you, for knowing it all along

it’s all done

cause you insisted

on saying yes when you should have resisted

I believed in trust

like i believe what’s true

now my heart hurts cause yours was twisted

believed in us

and even

you

there goes love, you’ve gone

and missed it

Ignore Me

 

I hate you cause I miss you, how

I hate that adore me

Oh, how I hate that I can’t kiss you, how

I hate that you ignore me

Fallen Angel

 

Falling Angel Falling Star

Wish you Were

Not

What You are … is What to me

Somethin’

I

Will never be

My

Fallen Angel

Fallen Star

Blonde Hair

 

 

Oh my blue-eyed, blonde-haired, dark-minded friend

When will you end

Your cold demeanor ?

 

Sterile Eyes

 

Sterile eyes, stare

Black Blue

Wish you

Would see through

what I say

Empty feelings

full

of You